One Lip Balm to Rule Them All
Hello, it’s me: your lizard queen. Come closer—and let me smooch you with my dry, scaly, horrible wintertime lips that are practically falling off my wretched face
Real talk though: How did this even happen? Not only do I live in California, land of zero winter weather, I am a lip balm junkie of the highest order. I’m talking Operating Thetan status here! (You are watching Leah Remini’s crazy new Sci-Ti exposé show, right?)
My collection of personal lip products is unparalleled in these modern times, and I never go more than an hour without slathering some of it on my face.